


Drunken Words (Are Sober Thoughts)

by JustAnOffalyGirl



Series: OneChicago Tumblr Prompts [8]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, F/M, Just didn't get around to publishing it on AO3 till now, Matt Needs to Use His Words, Technically 09x08 spec fic, written during the hiatus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnOffalyGirl/pseuds/JustAnOffalyGirl
Summary: Sylvie arrives at Matt's front door the evening after Grainger works at 51.
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Series: OneChicago Tumblr Prompts [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2193621
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	Drunken Words (Are Sober Thoughts)

**Author's Note:**

> From the [tumblr prompt](https://justanoffalygirl.tumblr.com) Angst 50: "Why didn't you fight for us?"

Matt was staring into space, the tv shutting off from no buttons being pressed. Instead of turning it back on, he sat in the darkened room. He didn’t tend to heavy drinking when he was upset, that was his best friend’s thing. Instead he moped on the couch, wishing he’d done things a bit differently.

He’d lost his temper with Grainger, made a stupid call, and then decided to ignore Brett for the rest of the shift because he knew if he didn’t he’d do something stupid like kissing her in the middle of the common room in front of her new boyfriend and the rest of the house.

There was a knock on the door, shaking him out of his thoughts. He ignored it, figuring it was Kelly and Stella not wanting to get their keys out. But then there was another knock, before someone was thumping hard on the door. He stood and went to it, opening and planning on yelling at Kelly for ruining his brooding session. Instead, the reason he was brooding was standing at his door, looking like she wanted to kill him.

“What the hell were you thinking, Casey?” Sylvie ranted, walking straight into the apartment. “I don’t know what you said or what you did, because Greg wouldn’t tell me. All I know is we were having a good night, he was sweet and he was good and we could have had something, but then he tells me that he knows he’s not right for me and leaves. He was so happy when we were on shift yesterday, and then you talked and this happened. What the hell, Matt?”

Her eyes were filling with tears, but all Matt could think of was she was beautiful and Grainger was gone and she’d called him by his first name at last. It’d been months since she had.

“I talked to him in work about work related issues, and how he ignored my instructions as Captain. I was never going to get into personal details with him, Sylvie. You made it clear that you wanted space, and I was giving it to you.” He pulled two beers out of the fridge, popping the top on them and handing one over to her. She took some deep swallows, turning to look at him.

“Why didn’t you then, Matt? Why didn’t you fight for us? Do you still love your ex wife that much that you’re turning down something that could be good for us?” She drank the rest of her beer, leaving the empty bottle on the kitchen counter.

“Because you said you didn’t want me to. YOU TOLD ME TO LEAVE, SYLVIE,” he yelled, drinking his own beer. “You told me to leave and you told me to get out, and then you ignored me. I spent enough time fighting for someone who didn’t want me to fight for her, who could leave me without a second thought. I couldn’t do that a second time, Sylvie. I couldn’t leave my heart on the line for someone who didn’t want it. I’ve been engaged twice, married once, and I’ve buried the woman I had the longest relationship of my life with. I can’t go back down that road unless I know the person I’m going with wants me fully. I’m not strong enough to do that.”

“And you think I am, Matt?” Her voice was lower, less sure of herself. “I was basically left at the altar and moved to Chicago to get away from him, until he showed up and tried getting me back. I got engaged to a Chaplain who wanted me to give up everything to go be his wife and minister to his flock, when I don’t even think I believe in God anymore thanks to him. I got rescued by my best friends who picked me up as I was leaving because I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be. And then I came back and we were friends, and I thought we were building to something? But you walked away when I asked a question.” She swallowed before forcing herself to continue, to get it out at last.

“I deserve to be first, Matt. I deserve to be first in someone’s life for once. Not a trophy wife who works part time to look accomplished. Not miserable living someone else’s dream. I deserve to be put first by the man I love, who I’ll put first too. And I thought that’s where we were reaching. I’m not your ex wife, Matt. I’m not going to run off to Puerto Rico because we disagree on something. I fell in love with you. And I wish I never had because I love you even when I’m hurting like this.” She broke down, her sobs echoing through the quiet apartment as Matt stared at her. The one time she’d admitted her feelings and he was staring at her like she had three heads. Sylvie wiped away the worst of the tears and stood up straight.

“I’m gonna go, Casey. I don’t think we should see each other outside of work for a while.” She went to leave, but Matt grabbed her arm and pulled her to him.

“You are the one person I’ve been thinking about ever since that night, Sylvie. God I’ve loved you for longer than that, but I love you for you. Because you’re the best damn paramedic I’ve ever seen. Because you care, you care for everyone you treat whether they’re an addict who threatens you or a kid with a broken arm or anything in between. Because when Otis died, when I lost a man, you were there to help bring our house back together. And if you want to leave you can walk out right now, but I’m begging you Sylvie, please give us a chance. I know I probably used all of mine, but a wise woman once told my best friend that if you quit giving someone a second chance, they stop having one. I want to deserve that second chance, Sylvie.” He stared at her tearful eyes and wavering face, listening intently to his words.

She swallowed deeply, leaning her face up to him. “Are you sure, Matt? Because I’m not turning back if we do this, I’m all in.”

Matt reached down to kiss her, planning on a slow, chaste one. But without the two of them even meaning it, they deepened, Sylvie opening her mouth for Matt. She tasted like the beer she’d had there, as well as tequila from what he assumed was Molly’s. Her lips were soft and sweet against his, and without thinking he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, holding him close.

“Baby, if we don’t stop I’m gonna bring you into my bedroom, and I don’t want our first time to be when you’ve been so sad,” he murmured into her ear, but Sylvie wrapped her legs around him tighter.

“Matt, I want you. Now.” She said, and he brought her into his bedroom for the first of many nights together.


End file.
